I'M BACK.

Okay, I am a UK graduate! Good for me, I know, I didn't go to commencement, I simply did not feel like sitting through all that. Instead I planned our wedding shower for that weekend to keep
mom and dad happily busy and distracted.
THIS is what we did that graduation weekend:

On Saturday: we were showered with gifts and love. This shoe rack I am opening here is amazing and EXTEND-ABLE! I will report the total shoe hold-age when I get all my shoes on it. And yes that is a pinata, I have been looking for an occasion for one of these for a while, unfortunately I forgot the candy to fill it with. It will wait until Jack's 2nd Birthday I suppose.














On Sunday: We went to the Red River Gorge. It was a wonderful Mother's Day treat to get out into the great outdoors. And as always we found some really cool cliff areas.

For the past month or so I had ceased to blog. Between wedding planning, raising a boy, and school I felt like I was doing good to get the laundry done. Good news though! All that focusing on school TOTALLY paid off. I graduated with a 3.94 cumulative GPA and a 4.0 for the semester.
Forgive me for bragging, but I suppose it is necessary to pat yourself on the back every now and then.

Now that I am out of school everyone seems to want to know what I am "going to do." Come on people, you have been asking me this question since I was old enough to talk and dream of a future. My answer has changed though. I no longer desire to be a country music singer, a lawyer, or a doctor. The Truth is that I don't really know what I am "going to do". For the next week and a half I am a wedding planner. After that it is my job to have as much fun as possible on our honeymoon in Switzerland. From there I suppose I will be a part-time job seeker, gardener, and full time stay-at-home momma (Which kinda works out as Jackson could totally be ready for potty training). If anyone knows of any ways to make money from home I am completely open for suggestions.

One thing I am sure of now is that I do not want to go to graduate school. I applied to the College of Social Work to pursue a master's., but now I am quite sure that I want to give no money to any institution on the mere basis of HOPING to get a job at the end of it all. I will find what it is out there I am supposed to do. Perhaps it will even bring me back to graduate school at some point in my life, but for now I feel the strongest urge to just be open, to just create enough room to allow for absolutely anything to happen. The very thought of that openness is overwhelming in a truly awesome way.

I'm only a partial idealist. This creation of space to grow could go either way financially for me, that's why it is always good to have a garden and a few animals to fall back on; at least I know there will always be something to eat.

In the meantime my parents are coming around to the idea that I might not follow in their footsteps in getting a masters degree, Hell I guess they are getting used to the idea that I won't be a doctor (they had some pretty high expectations that I fed for many years).

I'm back. That is where I stand today. Let's see where life is going to take us tomorrow.

Eat, Exercise, Breathe.

School has consumed me.. BUT my mind is very full of inspiration. My personal growth of late has been immense...Well I suppose my realization of it has been the most important piece of the puzzle.

People, I am happy. Genuinely happy for the first time in... well I guess since I can remember. Not every day is super awesome, but it doesn't matter. My mantra, "This too shall pass" has calmed me, and if that doesn't work I remind myself that there is good in all things. Sometimes you just have to look really hard for the good, or accept that it may not be visible to you.

I never knew how to cope. I never knew how to embrace life for what it was. I knew how to break down and curl up into a ball and expect to be held like a child, and then cry harder when that didn't happen. Those skills got me no where but on a cocktail of medications. And while I do not deny that they have their place and time, I desired another way. I am now active in my mental health; I eat well, exercise, actively focus on the positive and the present. It ain't always easy but to breathe deeply and feel free is worth every ounce of energy drained from me in the process.

I thought I would share this. For some this would seem silly, but my life has been changed. Hell, it is constantly being changed anyway, might as well direct it in a positive direction.