Free from the Scholastic Chains.

I feel at least 10 pound lighter than I did this morning. The first semester of my senior year has come to an end and I have not had a nervous breakdown!! There's a Christmas Miracle if I ever saw one. I have no clue what I made in my classes and quite honestly I don't even care, it just feels good to have one responsibility lifted from my shoulders, if only briefly. It was a good semester though. I met so many wonderful people that I call friends and learned so many things. I know all about abnormal psychology now, Personality Disorders, Psychoses, Eating Disorders, Axis I Disorders (Depression, Anxiety, etc) and have diagnosed nearly everyone I know : ). I also discovered that the criminal justice system is quite complex and crooked, and the decriminalization of illegal drugs would help our country and the people in it far more than the policy of prohibition and abstinence we observe now. Let's see, Psychological Testing and statistics really didn't make that much of an impact on me so.... We'll just leave it at that.

Jackson, on the other hand, did not fair so well during finals week, but has a terrible cold. I say "terrible" because it is the first time that he has really been sick since he was born. We were lucky, I know. He snots, and coughs, and cries when I wipe or try to suck the snot out. He doesn't want to eat anything and I know it is because everything tastes like those little crackers we used to eat at communion as kids.

In spite of it all, he is still very pleasant. He says "pot" now and "hot pot", which I realize are very similar, but I know he is saying 2 distinct words, It is one of those things a Momma kinda knows.

I dreamt last night that he was stringing words together in sentences, and I know the time for that in reality is very near.

We are actually enjoying the holidays this years. Last year seemed like such a struggle with a new baby and dealing with what I still won't admit was post partum depression. This year is different though. This year we have bonded and grown tremendously as a family and are ready to relish each moment and memory that we make.

Time are hard. This is evident in the grim look everyone seems to share out there handing cashiers credit cards that are one swipe away from being maxed out. And in this I am reminded that none of the plastic crap in the stores out there makes people happy anyway. Happiness comes from within, it comes from the love we give and the love given to us. Jackson shows me how a spoon, or a broken toy can be just as entertaining as the most high tech baby toys out there. These realizations are good. I am getting on track. I am glad to be free from scholastic activities for a brief time to truly enjoy this. :)

Happy Holidays to All! Enjoy whatever it is in the world that makes you happy!

Bite-Hot-Lights!

Thanksgiving was wonderful! It was a break from our daily routines that I know we all needed!

Food, Family, Fun: Jackson used his new molars to chew through turkey, ham, stuffing, pies, yeast rolls, cake, squash, beans, and a number of other tasty treats that I felt absolutely no guilt in letting him or myself indulge. Speaking of molars, Jackson now how a total of 12 teeth! He loves his toothbrush and will pick up and put into his mouth anyone's toothbrush that he finds!

He says "hot" constantly, mainly in reference to food, fire, and anything that is hot; He has it figured out! Lights used to be "hot" but now they are "lights" and "bite" he uses when he feeds the dog. All these words are so cute to hear come from his tiny little mouth and it is fun watching him analyzing the movements of our mouths when putting words together and then his over-exaggerated imitations.

Over Thanksgiving weekend Daddy Dave went out in the woods and cut a cedar tree for me to decorate. I pushed for the fake tree, it is what we always used in my family and I felt a real Christmas tree would be too much trouble. That, and I will be the first to admit that I like the "perfection" that the artificial trees offer, although perfection is something that I have had to let go lately for the sake of my sanity. Okay on to the tree, I am so glad he cut a real one for us!! It smells divine, beautiful, natural, and once I got past the pricks in my hand and arms, I am convinced I will want a real tree each and every year! Needless to say, Jackson loves the tree and the lights and playing with the ornaments which he will gently remove and then try to place back into the tree, I am just glad that "put it back Jack" has finally paid off and now we rarely have to even say it.

I am also surprisingly excited about Santa Claus! I previously didn't really want to observe this tradition for my children, but there is something about having a sweet, curious child around that makes the holidays magical again, and I want to recreate that magic for Jackson. So Santa, has finished much of "his" shopping and simply cannot wait to see the excitement and fun of Christmas morning.

I finally feel caught up with school and with life, and am taking a day to just relax a bit and catch my breath. It has been a great holiday! The best part is that the holidays have just begun!

Belated Halloween Post

I am behind as usual with just about everything except being a spectacular Momma to my most wonderful son! : )
Halloween was very fun for Mr. Jackson. I had breast augmentation surgery the Monday before Halloween, so he had spent the entire week with his Mamaw and Paw in Jackson Co. while Momma was recovering. Since I still wasn't able to lift him we created a caravan of helpers to aid in this 'lil Pirate's trick-or-treat experience.
We first went to Great Aunt Betty's house. Jackson visits there often in the County and always helps throw the ball for Billy Clyde dog.















We then stopped by Mamaw and Paw's House and got a Reese Cup, He liked chewing on the wrapper more than actually eating the candy and I was just fine with that! It could've been the bright wrapper or maybe the peanut buttery aroma but Reese's were Jackson's favorite for the night.

Of Course he couldn't leave without first playing a tune on the piano!


And a Family photo was definitely in order!




















Later we went to Great Aunt Judy's house where Jackson fell in love with the Harvest trees and picked up more sweet treats! He was very tired by this point and started his very scary Halloween-y growl to let us know that it was time to head home with out sweet bounty and rest for the night!


I felt very lucky to see Family in Jackson County as I make it down there so little these days with school keeping me up to my ears in research papers and Stress. But most importantly I was overjoyed to get to spend this holiday with Jackson; before the surgery I feared that recovery would be much harder than it actually was, and that I might not feel up to even getting out of the bed for Halloween. A week away nearly killed me and hearing his sweet voice on the phone is nothing like having him whisper those sweet nothings directly into your ear.


Things are back to normal now. We have a sweet toddling boy running around the house carrying toys and especially books! He says hot when he sees fire or touches anything warm and seeing his eyes light up with new understanding excites me to no end. I see all the possibilities in my son and I know we are both lucky to have each other.

1st Birthday Party!

So in the middle of midterms - just like last year when he was born- Jackson turned one year old, Luckily I didn't have class that day so Jackson and I hung out, played, and ate blueberry pancake made by yours truly. Later that day we went to the farm on which we are getting married and had, family and a few engagement pictures taken by First Comes Love Photography. They were just awesome, full of energy and ideas and I can't wait to see how the pictures come out.

This Past Saturday we actually celebrated his birthday with a small group of family and friends.
So without further ado here are some pictures of Jackson Daniel Brown's very First Birthday Party








Beautiful Aunt Jessica and 1 Year old Jackson, Helping him celebrate his big day!





















Hijacking Auntie Kayla's straw, trying to put it back in her drink with little success. We were both very happy to see Kayla and Felicia arrive.










Grandma and cousin Ella. It was such a beautiful day for a Birthday Party!













Pappy Dan arrives and Jackson is very happy with the loads of attention given him.










Cousin Kiley pets Bear dog with little fear given his massive size.









One Year ago he was a small wriggling baby in my body, and now he is my son. He is a vibrant 1 year old who loves to play and dance to super loud music.He loves to eat hot peppers and cayenne flavored dishes with the exception of rubbing it into his eyes. We love him very much.



Opening Presents. He got so many awesome gifts, now we just have to figure out how we are going to store them in our very small house!















Cousin Kiley Helps Jackson Open and Play with presents. He has much to learn about these birthday celebrations. Auntie Felicia came too!










Cake Time!









Blowing out candles. Well actually I blew them out while Jackson tried to grab the flames.















First bite of cake. Organic and sweet, He loved it!
















Cake+Jack= Big mess!

Baby Steps

It's official! Jackson Daniel Brown is walking! Slow baby steps with his arms held out to either side of his small body but I know it is a matter of time before I am running after him.
He is 10 1/2 months old and since we missed his 9 month wellness check up (because I was working 40+ hours / week to help with bills) I rescheduled and we finally got his stats.
Weighing in at 23 1/2 pounds and 30 inches in length he is in the 75 percentile in both height and weight.
Our pediatrician did have great news that shortly they would be dropping their patients that did not vaccinate because "we are too much of a liability on the insurance." A scare tactic I am sure, to get us to shoot him up. I politely told her to "just let us know when that time comes and we will find another pediatrician who can afford us." She simply nodded and looked at me with a mixed look of disgust and awe and it felt awesome.
He also has another tooth bringing him to a total of 7!
And while Jackson is busy growing and developing at an alarming rate I am back in school. A senior this year, and as I begin to plan for a career I take a breath and exhale realizing that I will only have 3 more years after this one. I know I can do it.
Take your baby steps Jackson, Momma is right behind you, holding her hands out to catch you if you fall. Always there to catch you whenever the time might come.

My Dearest Jackson

So for your 10 month celebration (and partly because Momma and Daddy wanted to add some spontaneity to your fairly calm first year we decided to take your to the zoo this past Saturday. Sporting your new Winnie-the-Pooh umbrella stroller (not because we support Disney, but because it was cheap) you were the coolest 10 month old at the zoo, with the coolest parents, of Course!We stopped to see the turtles first, which until that day, I was unaware have some intense sex. We told you they were playing, and laughed with the other parents after I took some video of this honest act.
The big cats were asleep and the swarms of walking kids blocked your view of the very active monkeys, but you absolutely loved the flamingos! I held you up to the side of the rail and you laughed so hard at these pink creatures cleaning themselves.
You were also quite intrigued with the Elephants as they stomped around and lifted their trunks. I suppose the elephant was the largest moving thing you have yet to encounter, and the wonder in your eyes as you witnessed this was priceless. Unfortunately, you were too distracted to show this wonder to the camera as your Momma snapped photographs.
Of course, Riding on Dad's shoulder is always a fave of yours. However, you have gotten a little mean about it lately. After a thorough and painful examination of your Daddy's ear, you commenced the slapping and pulling of hair which ultimately landed you back into your stroller.

But you still got to pet the goats. Which, from the smile on your face, I think you enjoyed.

Your day at the Louisville Zoo Ended in front of the entrance with you totally done with it all, screaming in your stroller, and your Sweet Momma trying to seem unconcerned and pose for a picture.
(Sigh). You are growing fast baby. You are changing everyday and changing our world as well.

- With Love- Your Momma.

Nature Boy

Jackson Daniel never seems to become tired with the great outdoors. The dirt, grass, leaves, and apples from the trees offer our boy hours of joy and play. He may get restless with his pile of toys in the house, but never nature.

Thus, when I see my shadow next to his smaller one with the sun behind us while he is playing in the grass, and I witness the glistening of his sweat on his scalp and upper lip, I know he is our boy.

I know it in a way that couldn't be realized with the expulsion of his wriggling body from mine. It comes from watching him grow and seeing the personality and traits that only a combination of myself and Dave could create.

Jackson is nearly 10 months old now. 10 MONTHS! That is absurd to me. How did this time go by so quickly? He is his own little person now that becomes more evident every single day. And I am his mother; holding his hand as he is learning to walk, reading him books while he mimics the tones of my voice, pulling him close when the pains of growth are just too much, I am his mother.

We struggle together, but nothing in this world is as sweet, pure, and wonderful as the weight of his body against my chest as he gives in and rests against me.