Fearless.

I watch my boy, reaching, grabbing, pulling, and moving and realize that he is absolutely fearless. He will catapult from the bed without a second thought, pick up anything he finds and eat it. He will pet the biggest dog, put his fingers right in his mouth, and laugh while doing so. I am inspired~

And then I begin to wonder where the fears ever come from. Why is it that the sight of a spider sent me into hysterics for so many years. (I have since realized that I can destroy them far before they can even imagine doing me harm)

Fear has been a topic of interest to me lately. I have been facing them, overcoming, and then feeling silly for ever being held back in my endeavors because of a feeling that I couldn't even rationalize. I feel that to ever realize my full potential I must conquer all fear and reach a place in my mind of pure peace. Jackson inspires me... I see, through him, what that could be like.
Jackson has been changing so much lately. Here he was at my grandparents, banging on the piano. He is quite the sitter and getting ready to crawl... Baby proofing this house is a huge task that looms ahead and quite honestly, I dread it terribly.

I'm not sure if it is him or me. But one fine day this kid was just so much easier to deal with. The crying and screaming became less... Or perhaps I became more tolerant. I'm just now figuring out what he wants from me, and maybe he is too. I'm elated beyond words. This meshing that I so desired to occur between my baby and I finally seems to be panning out. We aren't opponents anymore, challenging one another on a daily basis, but a team working together for common interests.

Motherhood continues to be a ride, while I continue to try to hang on and laugh through as much of it as I can.